Last night I couldn't sleep. I was tired. I needed sleep. Badly. But here I was, still awake at 3 a.m. in a tornado of body hatred. Why won't you sleep, body? Do you hate me, body? Do you not know how badly we need sleep, body?
So as one would expect at 3 a.m., I wrote my body a nasty-gram. Like a really mean letter. Ryan found it this morning. Like a coach's husband, he said "honey, I want you to do what you would tell a client to do. Write the exact opposite of this letter to yourself. Then read it. A lot.
I actually love the revised letter. Not quite as much as I love my husband for telling me to do it. Read on to see how I transformed a moment of true self loathing into exactly what my body needed to hear:
You are the most brilliant magnificent work created by God. You deserve to be loved and lavished with all the good things. You deserve deep nourishing sleep.
I know you are doing your best, body, and that sleeplessness and excess belly fat are a message from you. Those bags under my eyes and extra weight do not diminish my beauty. They are a sign that I am a human who sometimes ignores the messages her body sends.
You are worthy, powerful and deserving of all the love and support that you need to thrive. In addition to all the healthy food and habits, I acknowledge that sometimes, body you just need a good, sweet perfect brownie. I will not deprive you of this if that is what you truly ask for. I declare, right now, dear body that I will stop caring for you in the way that society tells me is best and I will take care of you in the ways that you show me you need. I am done, body.
I am done ignoring you in favor of what the current and fleeting wisdom on health tells me. I am ready to listen to your message. If that message must come to me at 1 a.m., I will listen and act accordingly. Thank you, body. Thank you for continuing to communicate with me even when I plug my ears and hum at you while you do it.